No Ordinary Ex

"What are you hoping to achieve?" she asked herself. "In sanity's name girl, get a hold of yourself!"
She stared blankly at the email message on her screen. In her direct and witty fashion she had penned an email message to an ex-lover, which sat idly waiting to be sent.
"You're a fool." Exasperated, she hit delete. Again. Each night for 3 nights she had done the same thing. This needing, wanting to re-establish contact after so many years still took her by surprise. She had thought him forgotten, relegated to that dusty place where ex-lovers go, only to be drawn out on those special occasions when you need to re-live a glory moment or visit the pain inflicted by some questionable romance.
But... he was no ordinary lover. She could still picture every inch of him. Could still smell him, could almost taste him. It had been over 5 years. They had seen each other twice in that time. With new partners both, and all full of that "I'm so happy now, now that I'm not with you" subtext. A pleasant dinner and friendly chats, nothing remarkable but how her skin still burned when he had kissed her goodbye. It was obvious he too felt the pull of their chemistry but just how much, she couldn't be certain.
It had always been complicated. Either she or he had had a partner each time they connected. Wild sex fuelled by guilt and excitement, exhilarating and degrading all at once. For her, it always came back to the physical pull he had. No other lover, ever, had had this effect on her. He would touch her arm lightly, she would reel at the contact. He would kiss her neck, she would feel instant warmth and wetness between her legs. But at what price this feeling, this intensity? Finally, she had said enough. Enough of the guilt she told him, but even now she had to admit it wasn't really about that. She just couldn't handle the rawness of it all. The blind desperate need of him. The agony when he was with another woman. No jealousy, not that, just agony that his body wasn't touching hers, making her burn from the inside out.

Ultimately they had had to admit they didn't actually like each other much. She was too 'straight', he was too earthy. She was wine